The Shattered Ashtray

My heart beats a sticky rhythm
Early grave, heavily coated in tar
Though the poundings in my chest
Seemed infinite, I fear I am too far

Gone, to even class myself human.
I am swallowed whole, polluted space
That consumes my very soul, once
Beautiful, you said it was a waste

Of spirit, it did not suit my body well
But neither did you, I saw your gaze,
A watchful eye from a deep distance,
Changing only with the moon’s phase.

Behind my heavy lids I sense gravity
Has taken hold of me once more,
Bringing me forcefully back to Earth,
Though I’d rather burn in it’s very core

It was you who offered a cigarette,
And from the word yes I was hooked,
Not on the nicotine, but on much more
I was entranced by the way you looked

At me, as if I were an artifact from
Someone else’s history, I gave in
And became your past and present,
You lead me into a lustful life of sin.

Laying on a thin mattress, wrapped
In sickly sheets, I hold my head high,
Toward the bright lights upon the
Ceiling, and oh Lord, I see the sky!

Lifted above the men in white and
The ghastly shadows beneath my bed
(They sang me to sleep one lonely night)
“Your soul is sweet, sickly” they’d said

And now I let go of your selfish hand.
I have forgiven life and taken death,
He holds me in his cloaked arms and
Whispers prayers, until my final breath.

The Angels, They Die With Us

Lying in a shallow pool of
Self pity and denial
Surrendering all control
My gaze held skywards
Frantically searching for God
But the sky remains empty

The claws of (personal) demons
Prayers burnt into their own skin
Reach out and grasp my reality
Tearing fragile flesh from broken bones
You say heaven lies on Earth
But the Earth lies above my head-

(mind whispers) Am I dead?
There is silence, darkness
Everything I never wished for
Rip out my withered soul
I will prove non-existance
And haunt these holy lands

Forevermore.

ストリップ

I stood in flesh form,
judged by a critical eye,
and unravelled like yarn.

Silence in Love

I wish I were a Monarch butterfly,free inside the bell jar
That sits upon your windowsill, you’d admire me from afar.
The city lights that illuminated a lonely lover’s walk home
Now the highlight of an extraordinary night in monochrome
Let us act in our own silent movie, communicating with thoughts,
And pretty thoughts, let it be, my fingertips shall stroke away each
Quivering memory. I have been captured in your honey like eyes.
It is a pleasant feeling and I needn’t complain, though it did surprise
Me when I became aware. I could’ve danced across lily-cups and
Befriended the myths and fantasies, the pure joy of such emotion!
And should you blush at my words and neatly smile, tearing your gaze
Away from mine and heading skywards. Have you found heaven?
I believe I have. A lilac haze shrouds the moonlight, and you fall back
in my arms and close your sweet eyes. Who needs beliefs that will
Tear us apart, I beg of you to go ahead and blindly do as you please,
I’ll follow each river until I reach your ocean. Diving deeper yet until
I reach your mind’s depths. Darling, I’d happily drown in your thoughts.

#hm  #poppy  #for poppy  #heh  #wildfir3  #poem  #poetry  

(Pray for Your Sanity)

The time ticks on and I remain stiff.
Still, though the featheresque brush
Of entwined strands of hair and grass
Tickles the nape of my sensitive neck.
My choice to roll over and play dead
After being scrutinized for complaints,
Seems plausible and half minded. Yet
You continue to call me idiosyncratic!
I class myself an amnesiac when you
Are present, my memories fade faster
Than the scent of my cheap perfume.
I swallow my nerves and gaze skywards,
My sight burning through the clouds,
The chemtrails and the flurry of birds,
Oh, I do see the heavens above me!
Is this a drunken haze or natural high
I am unsure but what would it matter?
I am by your side and I see your face
In the mist that lingers above my head.
You have given me a glimmer of hope, and
That alone darling, is more than enough.

English Assignment: The View From Your Bedroom Window

A single glance out of my bedroom window overwhelms me with a thousand memories and every emotion attached to them. My gaze settles on the poppy field just the other side of my garden fence. June has flourished, and my eyes are greeted with a vibrant sea of red. Just like Monet’s paintings, a crowd of large pine trees gather in the background, whilst the dull sky lingers above. The sun has become shy, hiding behind passing clouds, allowing only a single beam of light to hit the stream every now and again. The water glistens, reflecting the true mood of summer, before darkening once more.


It was slightly windy today, and I refocus on the poppy field, admiring the pure beauty of these flowers as their delicate petals dance with the playful breeze.


Just over to the west of the poppy field lives the ancient fig tree. It is a wise man, standing alone, waiting patiently for someone to come along and listen to his story. I am sure the tree has a storybook of tales to tell, it has been there since before my grandmother was born. She was buried under the tree too, and now whenever I feel lonely I sit near the roots and speak to her. She always listens, and the tree does too.


I remember introducing you to the tree once.


It was a dire day, and you had promised a picnic but the weather seemed to disagree with the idea. We stayed indoors and watched as the rain violently threw itself at my window. The new herb garden my mother had planted the day before had been ruined. We giggled slightly as she yelled out the back door, whilst the wind howled and hissed in response.


Eventually the wind let up and the sky ran out of tears to cry. Mother nature’s tantrum was over, so we decided to head outside and begin our picnic. We made our way across the back garden, pausing only to give my mother a sympathetic look as she mourned the broken herb plants.


We hopped across the river stones and ended up in the poppy field. The flowers were drenched and they looked rather sad, but as we began crossing the field their petals flared up like fire, the flames licking our feet as we trod carefully across the field towards the old wooden gate.


I slipped your skinny hand in mine and lead you towards the fig tree. I told the tree your name and you politely introduced yourself. One of it’s branches wavered slightly in the damp breeze, and we both took that as an invitation to sit down.
We had our picnic, we laughed, we gossiped, and we shared our first kiss. All beneath the old tree. It is a memory I cherish now, a truly divine moment of my life.


I sigh and look back at the poppy field before turning my gaze to the new and improved herb garden. The clouds have begun to clear and the sun has now gained enough confidence to shine down on the landscape. It is a truly magical view, I could never tire of it. It is my childhood, and it deeply saddens me that the times I have spent with you here are now nothing more than a distant memory. It is a wonderful view, but like a jigsaw missing the final piece, it needs you, underneath the fig tree with me, to make it perfect.

The Earth is Above My Head, The Sky Beneath My Feet.

“There’s plenty of space in the graveyard.”
A small remark leads to shivering thoughts
This is not my natural mindset
I can barely see
Rushing towards the skylight
Only behind my closed eyes
A delicate kiss
In fragrant mist
Lead away from the cemetery gates
How you delight me with your presence
I shall take your skinny hand in mine
Endlessly lead you through crowds of trees
The forest is an orchestra
You are the composer
Whistling to distant mockingjays
A harmony of rustling leaves
Beneath our bare feet
Skipping lightly across clouds
So it feels in my imagination
Awakening under inches of soil
The sound of gravel above my head
Was always my favourite lullaby
Muffled cries
Gentle sighs
Poetic readings and the patter of rain
Smooth marble skillfully carved with
“The girl who drowned in her own thoughts”

For The Love of Youth

I have noted how the corner of your
Full lips struggle not to curl upwards
When I hold your soft hand in mine.

The way you acknowledge the
Concrete beneath your feet is
Ever so sweet. Dare I point out

How your eyes widen slightly
Whenever I give you praise?
Oh darling, you and your ways.

You are lily-like, precious, the
Essence of innocence. Would
You mind if I declared you mine?

Recluse

“Excuse the lack of furniture, the
Bleak walls and empty hallways,
Bare bulbs hanging by the wire,
Torn posters from the year of ‘86
Those were indeed the good days.”
A nostalgic sigh and a faraway gaze.

“Trick of the light.” you say, as if the
Torn net is to blame for the shapes
That dance across your naked flesh.
I see empathy written on your face,
Don’t lash out at the sunlight again.
It’s kept outside in the bitterness of-

January, brisk winds that batter the
Window pane. They are so terribly
Impatient, should I let them in? No,
I thought as much. Shut yourself
Away and ignore communication.
I’m here today for you darling, so

Should you feel such a desire, do
Not speak. Instead, study my lips
As I whisper secrets from years
Before our time, and should you
Feel so inclined, lean in my dear,
My mouth is an open invitation.

Suicide In Rome


In the fateful room, twenty two,
Up on the third floor. I do recall
Demanding a room with a view
Of the town’s history at nightfall.

She sat upon the kingsize bed,
And stroked the dainty silk.
Feather pillows held her head,
As she fell through dreams like milk.

The waxing moonlight shone
Through a single layer of net.
And her mind was long gone,
But her body was not, yet.

She awoke around two thirty
As I felt the fabric shift
I saw her gown was dirty
She’d stained a perfect gift!

Her shadowed frame shook
And I couldn’t help but sigh
Of all the dresses we took!
Yet I waited ‘til it was dry

A rusty scent, colour of wine,
Spread like ink and filled the tub
She’d ruined something so divine!
Rightly so she sat and sobbed

It wasn’t until three twenty
When the window snapped shut
Now I’d heard of tales a plenty
Of young girls and intention, but-

The blood would not wash out
And she lay naked on the floor.
I fell to my knees at a silent shout
Yet she had made it out the door.

Stood bare upon the concrete
She held her arms out wide
A dagger dropped by her feet
She turned to me and smiled

“Wave goodbye to gravity!
Kiss your shadow goodnight!
For the demons in my fantasy
Shall flee from me in fright!”

I stood, awed by such a change.
I thought the sensation of a shiver
And internal clenching strange,
Since I’d never felt so withered-

A dagger raised in her left hand
As I shook my head in shame
Yet I was a mere one man band
And she was on the brink of fame

But would she dare slaughter?
I found such comfort in ‘no’.
For she was, and is my daughter,
Yet her words threatened me so.

Poised on the border of choice
I swallowed my heart whole
Worthless mother, use your voice!
Oh, for she had criticized her soul,

Pressed in like a flower between books.
Seeping through, the skin of the blade sang
Across her skin, clawing at her looks.
I tried to scream, my throat was sand.

The girl whose raven hair I brushed,
And placed flowers round her neck.
A hurricane past, it felt so rushed,
Without a single ounce of regret.

Limbs splayed out on the crossroads
I covered my mouth, this was not she
I’ve known her face for… God knows
How long, she was and is a part of me.

Pieced together like a cheap jigsaw
I couldn’t help but complain
She was not the girl I knew, her jaw,
Her eyes, they weren’t the same.

And so I have this nightmare
It haunts me like her ghost
Although I think I shall be fair
Since she does miss me most

The tearing of her nightgown,
The sound an echo to my ears.
Arms outstretched, daren’t look down,
Whilst darkness drowned her fears.

Twas’ the fateful room, twenty two,
Up on the third floor. I do recall
Demanding a room with a view
Of the town’s history at nightfall.